Time Affluence: Our Happiness Depends on It

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I have been spending time finishing a course on the Science of Wellbeing from Yale University. It has been fascinating and very enjoyable but I have found myself putting it on pause frequently because I just don’t have time. It is like this personal mantra, “I can’t because I just don’t have time.” Interestingly one of the lectures talked about time affluence.

Time affluence is about feeling you have enough time in your day to do the things you want to do. Raise your hand it that is your life experience. I can honestly say it isn’t mine and I am realizing a life out of balance filled with time confetti. This phrase was coined by Brigid Schulte and addresses our technology heavy, multi tasking, over scheduled way of fragmenting our time and leaving us with little pieces of leisure time.

One thing I have learned in the Science of Wellbeing course is that in the case of time vs money, it is time that makes us happier. In my younger years I believed I needed to put in more hours to be successful. I realize now that I am more productive when I am well rested, connected, happy and focused. I can achieve far more in less time than what the “overwork” culture has led me to believe.

So spending more time to earn more money doesn’t equate a happier person. That goes against much of what we have been taught. The earlier we realize this in life the more likely we will see the mental health benefits that come with having time to do what makes us happy. Here are a few thoughts on how to be more time affluent.

Build it in

Create time in your week for leisure activities. It is so easy to procrastinate and put it off until we have more time. Schedule it in the same way you would schedule your dental or chiropractor appointments. Make it part of your week and assign it value.

Identify what matters to you

What are the things you wish you had more time for? For me I think I need to meditate more but I need to connect with other people more too. That means that I will be looking for opportunities to do leisure activities with friends or even strangers in a meditation class. I find I am saying this more and more these days but mindset does matter.

Outsource

The idea of outsourcing sounds expensive and yes some things are financially costly but you receive time in exchange. Are there activities that take up your time that you really don’t enjoy? The obvious for me is cleaning and yes the alternative is costly but in terms of value for the Saturday morning I receive back in time it is priceless. Outsourcing can also happen from within our own homes. It can be utilizing your teenagers a little more or asking our partner to help. Meal planning is one of the areas that clients often find overwhelming. What if each person in the household cooked once per week? On your off days, you could have a coffee with a friend, meditate or read a book in the time you have just found yourself.

Use your time with intention

Choose what you do and how you do it wisely. Less multi tasking and more focus can help you be more productive and may result in freeing up time in your day. If you have a block of time for leisure what you do differently? I realize that if I were using my time with intention I would absolutely use it differently. I would not leave it to chance and would be more purposeful in seeking out what I need.

To be truly time affluent takes focus and commitment to our own wellbeing. Remember…just a little shift can change everything!

Author: Kimberley Gunning, MSW,RSW

Shit Happens

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I had the most incredible experience recently. I have been pretty transparent in saying that these past two and a half years have been hard. They have been hard for me and they have been hard for my family, friends, colleagues and clients. I upped my self care game this past year and really started looking at what mattered in my life and what actually energized me and what depleted me. I decided to guard my energy in a way I never have before. As a therapist and healer it is easy to keep giving until you realize you are running on empty.

I couldn’t recognize what was going on until friends used brutal honesty to say you need to take care of yourself, you are burning out. The energy healing of reiki gave me my life back and helped me rebalance and become even better at what I do. I found a calm, a clarity that was positively unprecedented. After months of inner work, I emerged refreshed, refocused and ready to reclaim my space as a healing professional. I am also proud to say that I finished my Level 1, Reiki and am soon to finish Level 2. My reiki training was really for me but it definitely adds a different lense to my therapeutic approach.

One of my first next steps was to get a few photos done and update my website a bit. I absolutely love the energy of Jen from Lady Luck Photography and feel so much gratitude for her creativity, kindness and just all out wonderful vibe. She is a passionate mental health advocate and she came into my life at a perfect time. During my photoshoot, Jen’s bird, Lucky was hanging out in her studio and as I posed against the fabulous exposed brick wall I felt something. Lucky had claimed my head as his own landing strip and sat perched on top of it. He just brought so much joy and whimsy to the moment it was epic. The outcome of the shoot surpassed my expectations and Lucky reminded me the thing I have learned over these years and that is “shit happens” and we have to be ready to roll with the unexpected.

Over the next little while I will be sharing some new things and am happy to say that my practice is shifting to more wellbeing and mindset coaching. I will still be the same therapist and social worker that some of you have worked with in the past but different. Think of me as Kimberley 2.0, the founder of Kaleidoscope Wellness Niagara with a fresh perspective and new insights on what it means to live life in alignment.

Readers’ Choice Awards

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All I can say is Wow! To win an award in 3 categories is just incredible. I started as a young social work years ago and wondered if I could ever make a difference in people’s lives…..if I could ever be good enough. I remember the first time I read Brene Brown and heard her talk about women and “imposter syndrome” and it blew me away. I realized that no matter how smart, beautiful or successful you are, so many women experience this.

I wear my vulnerability now like battle scars and I am proud of who I have become as the years have passed. Moments like this are to be shared with all of the people who have entered my office and my life. I have one of the most amazing jobs in the world as I get to be part of your journeys even if just for a moment or perhaps a little longer as life throws some unexpected twists and turns.

Thank you to those who voted and thank you for trusting me. For those of you who might be reading this but we haven’t met yet, please make that call or send that message. I look forward to meeting you.

Kindest Regards

Kimberley

Taking a Leap

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I have made a career centered around mental health and wellness. This week I was invited to join Kevin Frankish of The Happy Molecule and talk about one of my favourite things, happiness. The funny thing is I was excited and terrified all at the same time. It was so fantastic to be asked but like most of us I have been experiencing a bit of CoVid burnout and feeling a bit low to say the least. I was worried I might not have the energy to do it well.

I was having a Brene Brown moment of feeling vulnerable and worried what others might think. What if I couldn’t give the audience what they needed? What if they figure out I am human and experiencing a pandemic just like them? Here is the thing though, I read some of Kevin’s listeners comments online and loved the energy coming from them. I reviewed some of my old blog posts and realized that I have been telling others for years to step outside their comfort zone.  Take a leap, feel the fear and do it anyway. I suspect the universe was giving me a bit of a kick in the butt. Honestly I love when that happens! It was trying to tell me in order to help me I needed to connect with others. Our own growth and mental health is not created in a silo. We build it through our connections with others. Each time we help someone, listen to them or just do a random act of kindness we increase our own positivity.

The hour went by really fast and there was so much to talk about. It surprised me that we filled the time and there was still so much more to share. There were a few comments about feeling discouraged of that it was an impossible task. You are right, a few ideas and 60 minutes isn’t going to change our world but it is a start. Even if you don’t have the energy to do anything about it today, you have learned something and it will be there in your brain for later.

Taking charge of our happiness isn’t about judging or having unrealistic expectations , it is an intentional commitment to yourself. It is showing up in our life and valuing us even when we aren’t okay. Okay, actually especially when we aren’t okay. Oh and here is another thing Covid has taught us. Feelings of sorrow, fury and joy can co-exist in us at the same time. You can be positively pissed off at the world and still be kind. Who knew?! I love that!

We will still be sad, angry, anxious and maybe even feel despair but in amongst this messiness we can create small moments of joy. It is not about negating or avoiding the other feelings but making room for all of it. 

It isn’t without work but it isn’t meant to be overwhelming and we don’t need to do it alone. When we make a choice to find the small things and make connections we are usually helping someone else too without even realizing it.

One small thing each day. There are days where it might be having a shower and getting dressed and just showing up in your life and other days it might be bigger like a chat with a friend and finding laughter for the first time in awhile.  Maybe sending a card that you know will brighten someone else’s day. Nothing is too small, there is no measuring stick other than, did it feel good? 

I am so grateful I chose me on Sunday and said yes! This year has been hard and I miss people actually a lot. An hour with humans willing to invest in their mental health found me recharged and refocused. I am grateful for the lessons this year has taught me and the realization that we are never too old to grow!

I am proud of what I put out there.  For an hour I wasn’t alone in lockdown but with a group of people who also need to connect with people. How beautiful is that?! 

So my message is and always will be, today Be You, Love You, Choose You, You Are So Worth It! 

How are you?

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So I suppose this might seem like an odd post for a therapist but maybe it tells you a little bit about my sense of humour. We have spent the past 11 months feeling like this on a number of days. It hasn’t happened and although most of us are a little worse for wear the world is still here and so are we. This does not negate the trauma we have experienced globally. Yes, I call it trauma because we have been living in a prolonged state of crisis. It’s been a long journey but it is time to check in. How are you? Let’s not lie about it and say “fine”. It think we need to check in with each other and share how we are really doing. It’s time to move forward and reconnect with those you still want in your life. A phone call, a Zoom chat or a parking lot physically distant cup of tea. Do what works but be real and let people know you are not okay. I love when people are clear and tell me what they need. We can’t always fix things but we can be present. We can bake that cake, pick up those groceries or just listen. I know you have heard this before but it is okay to not be okay! If you are okay then fantastic, help someone else if you have the energy to give.

This is the year of the big reset, we got knocked down and it is time to put our plan in place and do the work we want to do or let go of what we don’t need. Be kind to yourself and just lean in. You’ve got this! Oh and if you don’t, well find a good counsellor and prioritize your mental wellness because it is so important.