The Art of Not Buying Stuff

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The art of not buying stuff is a topic of interest to many these days. Clever marketing told us that we needed stuff and if we bought stuff our lives would be better and more fulfilled. The funny thing is that we have a population of people with too much stuff and higher levels of anxiety. I am going to go out on a limb here and say that it didn’t seem to work well. Maybe the answer really wasn’t in our material gains.  If Covid-19 has taught us anything, it is that all the stuff in the world doesn’t help in a pandemic, unless it is toilet paper.

Where to start?

Start small, maybe the kitchen drawer that is filled with gadgets. Organize them into groups and get rid of duplicates. Once you get started, keep going.  Pick another drawer until you feel lighter and a bit more free. Let go of the underwear with holes in it and the purse with the broken strap, you are never going to use it again.  Be honest with yourself.

Go paperless

I will admit that I am a bit of a magazine hoarder. I love to read and it is exciting to me every time I sit down to a glossy new cooking or travel magazine. The problem is that they never leave the house once I read it. So, my solution is to have become a digital hoarder. I have tried an online magazine subscription service and have created a more organized Pinterest for all the recipes I want to try.  My ipad is full but my bedroom floor is clearing up.

One in, two out

Every time you bring something new into your home, think about rehoming two things.  They don’t necessarily have to be the same things but it is about clearing space literally and figuratively. New lamp? Take a look around the room for knick knacks that don’t really go with the new lamp.  Keep a box at hand to put things in for donation and when it gets full drop it off.

Invest in Experiences

If we look back on our lives, we remember the late night drives for ice cream, impromptu Covidly distant dinners with friends or family campfires.  We don’t really remember the material things we were given unless it was a puppy or a pony and then well you were actually given an experience too!

Start with your children now and they will thank you later. It will help them to learn how to recharge, how to have down time.  Give them that gift.

We may think of 2020 as the year of Covid but it is also the year of reimagining and of resilience.

Go build a terrarium, hike that new trail, plan a weekend with your bicycle, go glamping.  Have fun!  Adults need to have fun too.

I suspect that living life outside of the retail store actually might lead to lower levels of anxiety and higher levels of satisfaction.  Give it a try, see how it works for you and if you need help, well you can always call a therapist, I know a good one.

Written by Kimberley Gunning

Are you still riding the Corona-Coaster?

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Coronacoaster

So if we are being totally honest I think we have all felt this way at one point in these past 11 weeks.  I came home from an amazing vacation in mid February ready to take on the world only to become sick two days later.  With the world situation I have essentially been in social isolation since then, and boy I miss humans.

This corona coaster can find you thinking everything is great, we are nesting, trying new recipes, connecting more with our family members and cleaning the house a lot.  Sounds pretty nice doesn’t it?  Sadly that is a snapshot of a day.  The flip side is that another minute we are catastrophizing, worrying about our parents, the state of the world, not cleaning the house because why bother and snapping at the same people we have had to look at for the past almost 3 months. I even found myself very anxious going to the grocery store for the first time.

I thinks my cats are about to ask me to leave and go somewhere and stop interrupting their daily routine.  A friend called and said “I just want to have a conversation without my “cell mates” around”.  “It is okay to not be okay” so they tell us in all the online articles that I have read recently.  Certainly that works for awhile but then we need to get back to life.

Routines Rock

I’m not going to lie, this is my go to.  I can tell you right now that every time I take a dark turn in these Covid times it happens when I veer from my routine.  If I am finding myself a bit weepy you would probably find me with a freshly baked sea salted chocolate chocolate cookie in hand watching Netflix at far too late of an hour.

Routines work, they really do.  During the week I get up and get dressed for work and head down to my office. The commute is delightful and I enjoy getting that time back in my day.  I plan my meals for the week, although there are like 5,000 of them every week it seems.

Life is topsy turvy but we can create routines we love.  Now is the time to explore You Tube workouts and go for that daily walk if that is what you have always lacked the time to do.  It can also mean teaching your children to cook or do laundry.  Start with something simple and get them going so they have something they can make one night a week when you need a hand.

Learn One Thing

Notice I said 1 Thing, not 20 new things.  Master the first one and then see if you still want to try something else. I have learned how to get over my discomfort of video meetings.  I love that I was finally able to master Zoom and start seeing clients again.  It isn’t the same as in person but it has actually been nice.

Never able to try to new recipe? Want to create your own website? Learn to speak Spanish? Thank you Covid! Now you have time to shift to focusing on something for just you.

Be Kind to Yourself

So this is the part where we say, slowing down and reflecting is good and not doing everything you think you “should” get done is absolutely okay.  Some people need to be creative and learn things to stay well but it isn’t for everyone.  Do not set your sights so high that you think you are going to remodel your whole world this summer. Enjoy the sunshine, putter in your garden and just survive. My new goal is to read one beach read per month. Realistic and fun, that is being kind to yourself.

What Stays, What Goes

This is the best part of Covid in my opinion.  We were living on this hamster wheel going faster and faster and juggling more and more and it suddenly screeched to a halt.  Now is the time to decide what was working in your life and create more of that.  The things that weren’t working need to go.  If you fill life up with the good stuff there is less room for what you don’t want.

Too many appointments booked after work? Feeling over scheduled? Saying “yes” when you want to say “no”?  Spread out appointments and book them so they don’t feel like a full time job.  Less running around means more down time for you and a happier life and who doesn’t want that!

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Kimberley is the owner of Kimberley Gunning Counselling in Niagara

For appointments contact 905-353-5343 or email: kimberleygunning@yahoo.com

 

 

 

What makes you happy?

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Sometimes when I ask clients to tell me about the last time they were happy, they pause and think.  Even more difficult is when I ask “what makes you happy?”  The answers don’t flow freely beyond the mention of a handful of people or pets in their life. If asked to dig a bit deeper to the feeling unrelated to others, the feeling of joy, it can be very challenging for many people.

Keep it Simple

Let’s strip away all the fancy stuff and think about the simple pleasures in our lives. How about after a really long Canadian winter, the first time we sit on a patio or in our backyard and have dinner.  The feeling of grass under our bare feet or a walk with ice cream in hand on a hot summer night.  Happiness doesn’t always have to be a new car or vacation.  It might just be an evening with friends or your favourite meal.  Simple is highly underrated.

Happiness Is There You Just Have to Look

Life is hard, we’re not going to sugar coat it.  There will always be things that are sad, frustrating and sometimes painful.  It is for this reason that we have to be in the moment and take notice.  Happiness doesn’t hang out with us 24/7, or does it?  It is watching the child at the grocery store who can’t resist jumping into a puddle after a big rain. It is the sound of the birds in the morning or the smell of fresh brewed coffee.  Happiness is there but some days you have to look harder for it.

Enjoy It

The idea of holding joy even if it is brief, is so beautiful.  Enjoy it, savour it and remember how it feels because you want more of this in your life.  If you open your mind and heart to the idea of finding it in everyday, it will be there for you waiting for you to recognize it. Say hello to it and be in the moment with it because this is what fills your cup.

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Kimberley is the owner of Kimberley Gunning Counselling in Niagara

For appointments contact 905-353-5343 or email: kimberleygunning@yahoo.com