Organizing 2019

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So let’s start with saying I am guilty of this myself.  Every new year I decide how I am going to organize my life differently.  I buy a new planner, I look at digital options and I dream of being highly organized. Life has lots of moving parts and honestly most of us are more organized than we give ourselves credit for but we always believe we can do better.

Here is the ugly truth.  There are only 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week.  We cannot create more time.  Is it possible that we have crammed too much into our lives?  Raise your hand if this fits for you?!  Yes, I have mine raised.

Pair Down and Let Go

What needs to go in 2019?  Top of the list are things that are being done out of obligation or because no one else volunteered at the staff meeting and you accidentally made eye contact with the boss.  Let it go, hand it over to someone else, it’s time for someone else to do it. Do you always host family dinners but find them exhausting?  Share the responsibility with another family member.  Setting limits is a positive way to save yourself and your energy.

Try something different

Last year I dabbled in bullet journalling but didn’t give it my all.  This year I will try again but with the goal of not being Picasso or Warhol in my artwork. It is okay for it to look like a primary school project, it is yours and no one else’s. Bullet journalling is nice because it isn’t one size fits all.  There are the basics that help you set things up but after that you can create pages to suit you.  You may want to add a habit tracker to January but in February it is a packing list and trip planner spread to keep you on task.  Even the New York Times has gotten on board with the idea of the bullet journal’s new to do lists. To find out more about the world of bullet journalling you just need to go down the rabbit hole of Pinterest or Instagram and you will find all the options you need.

Set Realistic Goals

Not only should these goals be realistic, they should be your goals.  Yes, not the goals you think you should have but the goals you want.  Choose 3 or 4 things that you can actually accomplish.  Maybe have some shorter term goals like cleaning out the hall closet or your car….no judgement here. Longer term goals can be things that you can complete by the end of the year. Stagger them so you are not working on them all at once. Break things down so they don’t feel overwhelming.

Make Time for Fun

While organizing your life it should include a bit of fun.  One of my goals for 2019 is that I will do something with a friend once a month at minimum.  As adults we get weighed down with things on our “to do lists” and we often don’t make time for fun. How about inviting a couple of friends over for a board game night or find a one off cooking class to learn how to make pho.  Whatever it is, schedule it in, fun needs to be on the agenda and won’t get there if you don’t have a plan!

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Kimberley is the owner of Kimberley Gunning Counselling in Niagara

For appointments contact 905-353-5343 or email: kimberleygunning@yahoo.com

Holiday Health: Avoiding holiday burnout

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Avoiding HolidayBurnoutThis year I have more balls in the air than any other Christmas that I remember. I have a thriving new practice, friends and family with health issues, a new furry family member, another new professional adventure and we are hosting the family dinner. As a child I remember not feeling well every Christmas. I hate to say that this tradition has carried on into adulthood and it is one I would like to let go of.

Here are a few tips that I have learned the hard way.

You Need To Take Charge

You are the boss of you. That is essentially the cold hard truth. No one makes you drink that extra glass of wine or reach for the 4th sugar cookie. Sure we can rationalize by saying to ourselves that we don’t want to be rude because someone made it or offered it to us. We can say we’ll go to the gym tomorrow or catch up on sleep on the weekend. Sure, whatever you want to believe, these are lies we tell ourselves. I know because I am an expert on this.

Set Your Own Boundaries

Your boundaries are your own and aren’t someone else’s. Decide what you want to do over the holidays. Are there things on your list that you are excited about? Are there things you would rather not do? Is there a compromise?

Last year I horrified my family by setting a boundary that felt good for me. I entered the season feeling rundown and my house was in chaos. I had so many things on my “to do” list there was no way I could do them all. I chose to do the things that brought me joy. I went to a floral workshop with a friend and made a beautiful table arrangement.

I left my tree buying to the last minute and at that point it just felt like too much. I decided there would be no giant tree in the living room. I don’t think anyone thought I was serious, actually I didn’t even think so myself. I followed through with my threat and instead I brought out my shiny little fibre optic table top tree and a few reindeer and sparkly things and called it a day. I had time to make dinner and I even got some much needed rest. The holiday happened, the world didn’t come to an end and we still had fun.

Make A Plan to Stay Healthy

Plan and plan again. You have time now to put a plan in place for your holiday health. Start going to bed half an hour earlier. An extra half hour of quality sleep earlier in the evening when you are more likely to have deep sleep will help you stay on top of your game.

Reduce sugar in your diet now. Sugar is not your friend even though it is so seductive and comes in such enticing packages with bright colours, glitter and shapes. I have learned it robs me of all common sense and leaves me feeling terrible and wanting more. It is this time of the year we are most vulnerable to its temptation.

If you aren’t sure what you need, don’t be afraid to talk to a professional. Talk to your naturopath, counsellor, chiropractor or family doctor. They can all help you to get through the busy holiday season with a plan.

Nourishing or Depleting?

Take a look at your plan and tweak it a little. Think about things in terms of “will they nourish me or deplete me?” Believe it or not some activities can do both. Cooking for family and friends is both nourishing and depleting. A pyjama day of reading and watching movies can be good for the soul. Standing in line on Boxing Day may save a few dollars but it can be pretty depleting. Choose wisely and find a balance.

Be Kind to Yourself and Others

I am a huge proponent of kindness. It is underrated and needs to be practiced more. During this holiday season sometimes people will be cranky and less than nice. Let’s cut these people some slack and remember we are all in this life together. So when someone cuts in line at the grocery store or your colleague is a little short with you, be kind. Kindness is free and it makes things seem just a little bit better.

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Kimberley is the owner of Kimberley Gunning Counselling in Niagara

For appointments contact 905-353-5343 or email: kimberleygunning@yahoo.com

 

Mental Health Self Care Wheel

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I came across this wheel which has been shared so many times that I don’t know who to give credit to.  It gives us all pause for thought.  Self care is so important but we don’t always think of it in terms of a prescription for mental health.  If a doctor wrote it out and put “gym membership” or “leave work at work”, we might actually pay attention.

Taking care of our wellbeing is what keeps us healthy and it is what goes first. Take a look at the wheel and focus on one area that you know needs work. So I will go first…This year I want to focus on Personal.  I want to set some goals that include spending time with friends and family.  I will pick up the phone to talk, I will set dates to have a tea and I will invite people into my messy home even though it makes me very self conscious.

What spoke in this wheel will you focus on?

 

Breaking News: We Can’t Do it All!

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This month the theme in my counselling office is that of anxiety and overwhelm.  My clients are all very different, some are professionals, some are stay at home parents, some are extroverted, some are introverted but what they all have in common is the feeling in their mind and body. That tightness in their neck and shoulders and the belief that change feels so impossible but oh so necessary.

Be Realistic

Let’s face it, our days are full and the thought of having to put one more thing on the list brings a sense of dread.  Here is the terrible secret that we all know deep down but that social media and clever marketing has us questioning….WE CAN DO ANYTHING BUT WE CAN’T DO EVERYTHING! There I have said it.

There are only 24 hours in the day and if we spend 8 of them sleeping, 8 of them working, 1 of them getting showered and dressed, 2 of them commuting, 3 of them cooking, cleaning and organizing our own lives and our families and 1 hour sitting down to eat at some point in our day, well that leaves 1 hour to do all the other things we want to do.  My numbers may be a little off but essentially what this means is that going to the gym, reading a good book or learning how to cook Thai food is likely not going to happen unless we let go of something else.

I once had a personal trainer who told me that every time you say yes to something, you say no to something else, so choose wisely.  That mantra has stuck with me and when I am feeling worn out I hear his voice in my head.

Start small

Anyone who has ever worked me will know that this is my thing.  You can’t change 15 things at once and expect it to work and still be alive and well. It just isn’t possible. Think about the one thing that if it changed, would give you the most relief.  Yes, the Miracle Question, the age old therapy question, that gives us a real place to start.

Changing one thing means that something else shifts too and it can become a bit of a domino effect in a good way.

Perhaps you have your partner take on the carpool to dance class or soccer so you can have time to go to painting class.  In doing this you may find out that they love having the opportunity to feel more connected to the children and you are a great artist.  Win-Win.

Remember the Feeling

What is it like when you have patience and feel happy?  It feels pretty darn good doesn’t it?!

If we are out of touch with ourselves and our feelings we can feel numb and think it doesn’t really matter.  Life isn’t something to just endure.  Yes, it is hard and we all suffer at some points but in the midst of this we can find joy even if it seems small.

Go for it, feel what you need to feel and embrace the goodness of it all. Sometimes the feeling needs to just sit with us for a bit so we can move through it. Joy, sorrow, anger, curiosoty they are all worth exploring when they knock on our door.

Numbing your feelings is a barrier to creating the life you want so keep going and don’t look back.  Everyday we get to make new choices, so feel away and maybe you will make a choice that surprises even you!