This month the theme in my counselling office is that of anxiety and overwhelm.  My clients are all very different, some are professionals, some are stay at home parents, some are extroverted, some are introverted but what they all have in common is the feeling in their mind and body. That tightness in their neck and shoulders and the belief that change feels so impossible but oh so necessary.

Be Realistic

Let’s face it, our days are full and the thought of having to put one more thing on the list brings a sense of dread.  Here is the terrible secret that we all know deep down but that social media and clever marketing has us questioning….WE CAN DO ANYTHING BUT WE CAN’T DO EVERYTHING! There I have said it.

There are only 24 hours in the day and if we spend 8 of them sleeping, 8 of them working, 1 of them getting showered and dressed, 2 of them commuting, 3 of them cooking, cleaning and organizing our own lives and our families and 1 hour sitting down to eat at some point in our day, well that leaves 1 hour to do all the other things we want to do.  My numbers may be a little off but essentially what this means is that going to the gym, reading a good book or learning how to cook Thai food is likely not going to happen unless we let go of something else.

I once had a personal trainer who told me that every time you say yes to something, you say no to something else, so choose wisely.  That mantra has stuck with me and when I am feeling worn out I hear his voice in my head.

Start small

Anyone who has ever worked me will know that this is my thing.  You can’t change 15 things at once and expect it to work and still be alive and well. It just isn’t possible. Think about the one thing that if it changed, would give you the most relief.  Yes, the Miracle Question, the age old therapy question, that gives us a real place to start.

Changing one thing means that something else shifts too and it can become a bit of a domino effect in a good way.

Perhaps you have your partner take on the carpool to dance class or soccer so you can have time to go to painting class.  In doing this you may find out that they love having the opportunity to feel more connected to the children and you are a great artist.  Win-Win.

Remember the Feeling

What is it like when you have patience and feel happy?  It feels pretty darn good doesn’t it?!

If we are out of touch with ourselves and our feelings we can feel numb and think it doesn’t really matter.  Life isn’t something to just endure.  Yes, it is hard and we all suffer at some points but in the midst of this we can find joy even if it seems small.

Go for it, feel what you need to feel and embrace the goodness of it all. Sometimes the feeling needs to just sit with us for a bit so we can move through it. Joy, sorrow, anger, curiosoty they are all worth exploring when they knock on our door.

Numbing your feelings is a barrier to creating the life you want so keep going and don’t look back.  Everyday we get to make new choices, so feel away and maybe you will make a choice that surprises even you!