Time Affluence: Our Happiness Depends on It

I have been spending time finishing a course on the Science of Wellbeing from Yale University. It has been fascinating and very enjoyable but I have found myself putting it on pause frequently because I just don’t have time. It is like this personal mantra, “I can’t because I just don’t have time.” Interestingly one of the lectures talked about time affluence.

Time affluence is about feeling you have enough time in your day to do the things you want to do. Raise your hand it that is your life experience. I can honestly say it isn’t mine and I am realizing a life out of balance filled with time confetti. This phrase was coined by Brigid Schulte and addresses our technology heavy, multi tasking, over scheduled way of fragmenting our time and leaving us with little pieces of leisure time.

One thing I have learned in the Science of Wellbeing course is that in the case of time vs money, it is time that makes us happier. In my younger years I believed I needed to put in more hours to be successful. I realize now that I am more productive when I am well rested, connected, happy and focused. I can achieve far more in less time than what the “overwork” culture has led me to believe.

So spending more time to earn more money doesn’t equate a happier person. That goes against much of what we have been taught. The earlier we realize this in life the more likely we will see the mental health benefits that come with having time to do what makes us happy. Here are a few thoughts on how to be more time affluent.

Build it in

Create time in your week for leisure activities. It is so easy to procrastinate and put it off until we have more time. Schedule it in the same way you would schedule your dental or chiropractor appointments. Make it part of your week and assign it value.

Identify what matters to you

What are the things you wish you had more time for? For me I think I need to meditate more but I need to connect with other people more too. That means that I will be looking for opportunities to do leisure activities with friends or even strangers in a meditation class. I find I am saying this more and more these days but mindset does matter.

Outsource

The idea of outsourcing sounds expensive and yes some things are financially costly but you receive time in exchange. Are there activities that take up your time that you really don’t enjoy? The obvious for me is cleaning and yes the alternative is costly but in terms of value for the Saturday morning I receive back in time it is priceless. Outsourcing can also happen from within our own homes. It can be utilizing your teenagers a little more or asking our partner to help. Meal planning is one of the areas that clients often find overwhelming. What if each person in the household cooked once per week? On your off days, you could have a coffee with a friend, meditate or read a book in the time you have just found yourself.

Use your time with intention

Choose what you do and how you do it wisely. Less multi tasking and more focus can help you be more productive and may result in freeing up time in your day. If you have a block of time for leisure what you do differently? I realize that if I were using my time with intention I would absolutely use it differently. I would not leave it to chance and would be more purposeful in seeking out what I need.

To be truly time affluent takes focus and commitment to our own wellbeing. Remember…just a little shift can change everything!

Author: Kimberley Gunning, MSW,RSW


The Art of Not Buying Stuff

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The art of not buying stuff is a topic of interest to many these days. Clever marketing told us that we needed stuff and if we bought stuff our lives would be better and more fulfilled. The funny thing is that we have a population of people with too much stuff and higher levels of anxiety. I am going to go out on a limb here and say that it didn’t seem to work well. Maybe the answer really wasn’t in our material gains.  If Covid-19 has taught us anything, it is that all the stuff in the world doesn’t help in a pandemic, unless it is toilet paper.

Where to start?

Start small, maybe the kitchen drawer that is filled with gadgets. Organize them into groups and get rid of duplicates. Once you get started, keep going.  Pick another drawer until you feel lighter and a bit more free. Let go of the underwear with holes in it and the purse with the broken strap, you are never going to use it again.  Be honest with yourself.

Go paperless

I will admit that I am a bit of a magazine hoarder. I love to read and it is exciting to me every time I sit down to a glossy new cooking or travel magazine. The problem is that they never leave the house once I read it. So, my solution is to have become a digital hoarder. I have tried an online magazine subscription service and have created a more organized Pinterest for all the recipes I want to try.  My ipad is full but my bedroom floor is clearing up.

One in, two out

Every time you bring something new into your home, think about rehoming two things.  They don’t necessarily have to be the same things but it is about clearing space literally and figuratively. New lamp? Take a look around the room for knick knacks that don’t really go with the new lamp.  Keep a box at hand to put things in for donation and when it gets full drop it off.

Invest in Experiences

If we look back on our lives, we remember the late night drives for ice cream, impromptu Covidly distant dinners with friends or family campfires.  We don’t really remember the material things we were given unless it was a puppy or a pony and then well you were actually given an experience too!

Start with your children now and they will thank you later. It will help them to learn how to recharge, how to have down time.  Give them that gift.

We may think of 2020 as the year of Covid but it is also the year of reimagining and of resilience.

Go build a terrarium, hike that new trail, plan a weekend with your bicycle, go glamping.  Have fun!  Adults need to have fun too.

I suspect that living life outside of the retail store actually might lead to lower levels of anxiety and higher levels of satisfaction.  Give it a try, see how it works for you and if you need help, well you can always call a therapist, I know a good one.

Written by Kimberley Gunning


What makes you happy?

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Sometimes when I ask clients to tell me about the last time they were happy, they pause and think.  Even more difficult is when I ask “what makes you happy?”  The answers don’t flow freely beyond the mention of a handful of people or pets in their life. If asked to dig a bit deeper to the feeling unrelated to others, the feeling of joy, it can be very challenging for many people.

Keep it Simple

Let’s strip away all the fancy stuff and think about the simple pleasures in our lives. How about after a really long Canadian winter, the first time we sit on a patio or in our backyard and have dinner.  The feeling of grass under our bare feet or a walk with ice cream in hand on a hot summer night.  Happiness doesn’t always have to be a new car or vacation.  It might just be an evening with friends or your favourite meal.  Simple is highly underrated.

Happiness Is There You Just Have to Look

Life is hard, we’re not going to sugar coat it.  There will always be things that are sad, frustrating and sometimes painful.  It is for this reason that we have to be in the moment and take notice.  Happiness doesn’t hang out with us 24/7, or does it?  It is watching the child at the grocery store who can’t resist jumping into a puddle after a big rain. It is the sound of the birds in the morning or the smell of fresh brewed coffee.  Happiness is there but some days you have to look harder for it.

Enjoy It

The idea of holding joy even if it is brief, is so beautiful.  Enjoy it, savour it and remember how it feels because you want more of this in your life.  If you open your mind and heart to the idea of finding it in everyday, it will be there for you waiting for you to recognize it. Say hello to it and be in the moment with it because this is what fills your cup.

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Kimberley is the owner of Kimberley Gunning Counselling in Niagara

For appointments contact 905-353-5343 or email: kimberleygunning@yahoo.com