Friday, June 21, 2024 from 7:00-9:00 p.m. at Zen House Yoga Studio, Niagara Falls, ON
Join us for a lighthearted evening of laughter, creativity and embracing imperfection. Learning about ourselves doesn’t always have to be so serious and self care is better when done in connection with others. This evening will include the philosophy behind the Kintsugi bowl, a meditation, charcuterie and cocktails and the smashing of bowls as we go through the process of Kintsugi to create your own piece infused with resilience and beauty.
I have been spending time finishing a course on the Science of Wellbeing from Yale University. It has been fascinating and very enjoyable but I have found myself putting it on pause frequently because I just don’t have time. It is like this personal mantra, “I can’t because I just don’t have time.” Interestingly one of the lectures talked about time affluence.
Time affluence is about feeling you have enough time in your day to do the things you want to do. Raise your hand it that is your life experience. I can honestly say it isn’t mine and I am realizing a life out of balance filled with time confetti. This phrase was coined by Brigid Schulte and addresses our technology heavy, multi tasking, over scheduled way of fragmenting our time and leaving us with little pieces of leisure time.
One thing I have learned in the Science of Wellbeing course is that in the case of time vs money, it is time that makes us happier. In my younger years I believed I needed to put in more hours to be successful. I realize now that I am more productive when I am well rested, connected, happy and focused. I can achieve far more in less time than what the “overwork” culture has led me to believe.
So spending more time to earn more money doesn’t equate a happier person. That goes against much of what we have been taught. The earlier we realize this in life the more likely we will see the mental health benefits that come with having time to do what makes us happy. Here are a few thoughts on how to be more time affluent.
Build it in
Create time in your week for leisure activities. It is so easy to procrastinate and put it off until we have more time. Schedule it in the same way you would schedule your dental or chiropractor appointments. Make it part of your week and assign it value.
Identify what matters to you
What are the things you wish you had more time for? For me I think I need to meditate more but I need to connect with other people more too. That means that I will be looking for opportunities to do leisure activities with friends or even strangers in a meditation class. I find I am saying this more and more these days but mindset does matter.
Outsource
The idea of outsourcing sounds expensive and yes some things are financially costly but you receive time in exchange. Are there activities that take up your time that you really don’t enjoy? The obvious for me is cleaning and yes the alternative is costly but in terms of value for the Saturday morning I receive back in time it is priceless. Outsourcing can also happen from within our own homes. It can be utilizing your teenagers a little more or asking our partner to help. Meal planning is one of the areas that clients often find overwhelming. What if each person in the household cooked once per week? On your off days, you could have a coffee with a friend, meditate or read a book in the time you have just found yourself.
Use your time with intention
Choose what you do and how you do it wisely. Less multi tasking and more focus can help you be more productive and may result in freeing up time in your day. If you have a block of time for leisure what you do differently? I realize that if I were using my time with intention I would absolutely use it differently. I would not leave it to chance and would be more purposeful in seeking out what I need.
To be truly time affluent takes focus and commitment to our own wellbeing. Remember…just a little shift can change everything!
All I can say is Wow! To win an award in 3 categories is just incredible. I started as a young social work years ago and wondered if I could ever make a difference in people’s lives…..if I could ever be good enough. I remember the first time I read Brene Brown and heard her talk about women and “imposter syndrome” and it blew me away. I realized that no matter how smart, beautiful or successful you are, so many women experience this.
I wear my vulnerability now like battle scars and I am proud of who I have become as the years have passed. Moments like this are to be shared with all of the people who have entered my office and my life. I have one of the most amazing jobs in the world as I get to be part of your journeys even if just for a moment or perhaps a little longer as life throws some unexpected twists and turns.
Thank you to those who voted and thank you for trusting me. For those of you who might be reading this but we haven’t met yet, please make that call or send that message. I look forward to meeting you.
So let’s start with saying I am guilty of this myself. Every new year I decide how I am going to organize my life differently. I buy a new planner, I look at digital options and I dream of being highly organized. Life has lots of moving parts and honestly most of us are more organized than we give ourselves credit for but we always believe we can do better.
Here is the ugly truth. There are only 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week. We cannot create more time. Is it possible that we have crammed too much into our lives? Raise your hand if this fits for you?! Yes, I have mine raised.
Pair Down and Let Go
What needs to go in 2019? Top of the list are things that are being done out of obligation or because no one else volunteered at the staff meeting and you accidentally made eye contact with the boss. Let it go, hand it over to someone else, it’s time for someone else to do it. Do you always host family dinners but find them exhausting? Share the responsibility with another family member. Setting limits is a positive way to save yourself and your energy.
Try something different
Last year I dabbled in bullet journalling but didn’t give it my all. This year I will try again but with the goal of not being Picasso or Warhol in my artwork. It is okay for it to look like a primary school project, it is yours and no one else’s. Bullet journalling is nice because it isn’t one size fits all. There are the basics that help you set things up but after that you can create pages to suit you. You may want to add a habit tracker to January but in February it is a packing list and trip planner spread to keep you on task. Even the New York Times has gotten on board with the idea of the bullet journal’s new to do lists. To find out more about the world of bullet journalling you just need to go down the rabbit hole of Pinterest or Instagram and you will find all the options you need.
Set Realistic Goals
Not only should these goals be realistic, they should be your goals. Yes, not the goals you think you should have but the goals you want. Choose 3 or 4 things that you can actually accomplish. Maybe have some shorter term goals like cleaning out the hall closet or your car….no judgement here. Longer term goals can be things that you can complete by the end of the year. Stagger them so you are not working on them all at once. Break things down so they don’t feel overwhelming.
Make Time for Fun
While organizing your life it should include a bit of fun. One of my goals for 2019 is that I will do something with a friend once a month at minimum. As adults we get weighed down with things on our “to do lists” and we often don’t make time for fun. How about inviting a couple of friends over for a board game night or find a one off cooking class to learn how to make pho. Whatever it is, schedule it in, fun needs to be on the agenda and won’t get there if you don’t have a plan!
Kimberley is the owner of Kimberley Gunning Counselling in Niagara
For appointments contact 905-353-5343 or email: kimberleygunning@yahoo.com
I came across this wheel which has been shared so many times that I don’t know who to give credit to. It gives us all pause for thought. Self care is so important but we don’t always think of it in terms of a prescription for mental health. If a doctor wrote it out and put “gym membership” or “leave work at work”, we might actually pay attention.
Taking care of our wellbeing is what keeps us healthy and it is what goes first. Take a look at the wheel and focus on one area that you know needs work. So I will go first…This year I want to focus on Personal. I want to set some goals that include spending time with friends and family. I will pick up the phone to talk, I will set dates to have a tea and I will invite people into my messy home even though it makes me very self conscious.
Kaleidoscope Wellness Niagara 